Tagged with personal

Need to vent.

Love is crazy, man. I swear to god, it’s crazy how it can make you or break you. It’s crazy how one, unwillingly, delivers mind, body and soul to one person and that person has the task to make you who you are. To make you smile and make you happy everyday. To make you sad and bring out the unwanted tears. To bring out your biggest fears, or protect you from them. Because that one person knows everything about you. They could easily break your soul with a word, or make your day with a gesture.

Love is crazy and unpredictable. Hell, at least true love is. It’s a roller coaster of emotions and what’s worst is that you’re not in command of the ride. You wish that ride only takes you to high places, as high as the sky even if you’re afraid of heights. If you’ve even been to a roller coaster and you’re afraid of heights you know the feeling. When you’re at the top, man, that feeling is scary isn’t it? It’s a rush, an unexplainable rush of emotions that your body can’t control. But you also know you can’t stay up there forever right? So then it comes that huge drop. Here’s the thing, the higher you were before, the higher that roller coaster takes you, the scarier the drop is gonna be, the bigger the void in your stomach is gonna feel.

See? That’s the thing. Love has the power of making you feel unreachable and invincible, but it can also take you below ground, emotionally speaking of course. 

I find myself in a roller coaster right now. A huge one. You wouldn’t even find this one in those crazy Orlando parks. 

I’m gonna confess something, i’m scared. Yes, i fear of heights, but my fear of drops is even bigger. Then again, as one wise-woman said once:

It’s weird, like, you can see the cruelest part of the world, the cruelest part. But then on the other side, you see the most beautiful part. You know? It’s like you go from one extreme to the next. And they’re both worth it because you wouldn’t see the one without the other one. But that cruel part is damn cruel and you’ll never forget it. But that heaven is heaven. So it’s like I’ve been to both places

2011.

2011… I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how to begin to explain the greatness of this year and i still can’t seem to find the words to explain it.

Let me begin saying that i’ve grown up, BIG TIME. A lot went down this year that made me open my eyes and see the world in a different way, with a different light. I can firmly say that i’m a waaaaay better person than i was a year ago. 

Starting off, i made my biggest dream come true, which was seeing Britney Spears live. Damn, can you believe it? It’s been my biggest dream since i was 6 years old and, till this day, one month later, i still can’t believe it actually happened. I know she’ll never read this but that woman has taught me a lot and i’m grateful that i got to be in her presence.

I saw my favorite band, Paramore. Man, how surreal it is to even write it. I remember every minute of it. It was another one of my biggest dream to see them live and i will always remember March, 3rd as one of the best days of my life.

Now, let’s cut to the chase… The people that i’ve met. I can resume 2011, all of it’s experiences, lessons, mistakes, happyness, tears, PARTIES in you two guys: Freddy and Paula. 

Let me start with you Paula, nenis… NENITA *lease con tu voz*. Thank you, nenis. Seriously, thank you for the friendship that you’ve given me. You have taught me a lot, young woman. You really have. You know i always tell you this but i’ll always treasure all the memories that i have with you, you know? All of them are gold mines. I love you, nenis. And here’s to another year full of great friendship, epic memories and AWESOME AS FUCK MOMENTS *raises solera*… CAN I GET AN AMEN!?!?

Last, but definitely not least… you Freddy. You are my best friend and i’m so grateful to whatever it was that made us meet each other (*cough MISO/TUMBLAH/TWITTAH*cough*). Thanks to you i’ve gotten through the roughest shit you could ever imagine. You are the one that has got me through all of the shit you know i’ve gotten through this year and in my life. I’ll remember 2011 as the best year i’ve had so far mostly because of the experiences we’ve shared together. I love you, you know? I can never thank you enough for all that you’ve done for me and for just being there every step of the way and being you. You are big, dude. BIG. Your heart is humongous. Thanks to you i’m more humble, thanks to you i’ve learned what forgiveness is. Thanks to you is that i’ve changed so much, for the better of course. And well, how can you thank someone for making you a better person? Is that even possible? You know 2012 is only gonna bring even more blessings and i know that, whatever i do, wherever i go, whoever i become… you’ll be next to me. RIGHT REDONE!? 

2011… I’m grateful for a lot dude. Grateful is probably the word that defines how i fell about you, modafucka. But you know what? 2012 WILL KICK YOUR ASS, just wait and see…

FUCK! I hate fucking going to workout.

Like i don’t hate working out, i love it. But i hate liek GOING to the gym. i don’t wanna have to get up and shower and put clothes on and then walk there. Ugh, FML.

I have this weird feeling…

Like a nod in my stomach.

You know, when u know something’s about to happen but u don’t want it to happen. 

Not a good feeling, man, i feel like throwing up. And i’m not even sick at all.